Episode 54: Karina Mora - Cultivating Community
Hola!
Welcome to another week of Season 5 where I’m doing a deep dive into sharing my story and what has brought me here. Last week I shared why therapy is so important to me. This week I’m closing out the season with an episode on cultivating this community.
I’ve been asked about podcasting, why I’ve decided to keep going with the podcast. And every time I’m excited to share that I do it because I believe in sharing stories. I believe in elevating stories. I told you that most of season 1 were people I had met through the wedding and events industry. They had shared their story with me which then gave me the courage to share my experiences too. So yes podcasting is a lot of work, a lot of hours go into the production part of podcasting, emails, scheduling, recording, editing, publishing, marketing, all of the things takes a lot of time. That is one reason I decided to do seasons because it would give me breaks every few months to regroup plan, and focus on my next set of guests.
But it’s all worth it when those episodes are relatable to the listeners. And they can find similarities in the stories shared, letting us know that we aren’t alone. I think that has to be my most motivating thing in all of this. That people can feel safe, valued, and like they have people to be there for them.
I mentioned back in the second episode of the season when I was talking about me trying to figure out my cultural identity that I deeply desired to be part of a community that I felt encouraged me, and valued me. I first felt that as part of the basketball team in middle school. I’m so grateful for the group of girls who became friends those years. I’ve kept that experience in my heart so that as I build this community I make sure I can make people feel the same warmth I did during that time.
I’ve been to plenty events where I did not feel welcomed, I felt out of place…sadly they’ve been in predominantly white spaces…
But that’s why I’ve created this podcast, why I’ve expanded to hosting brunch networking events with my friend Veronica. We met through the wedding industry and have been friends since. You can actually hear her story on episode 9 of the podcast.
It’s been time for us to stop feeling othered, or little, or out of place. Aqui estamos, and we are thriving!
I think a huge piece of making generational change is first taking care of your mental health because this work is hard. It’s no joke. And it’s so important to have someone walking alongside you as you process all the things. And secondly it’s important to have a good support system. This is part of your support system. As this podcast has grown to in person meetups, soon to be in person events, and also a studio space, know that I, and those who have been podcasts guests, or attended events are also part of your support system. And we are all working collectively to change the narrative as parents, as Latinas, as first - gen, as partners, as friends, as all of the above…as human…and that means we will get there faster with good relationships that will pour into you, encourage you, and just be there.
In my own life, having people around me like Jasmine from the Firehouse dream, Veronica from Golden Mean Boudoir, Isa from Chicago latina moms, Evelia from De Mi Teirra, Sandra from Papelitos Lindos have made such an impact on what I’m doing. I love being able to talk through our experiences, hold space for when people aren’t nice, and the stress rises, and also celebrate accomplishments. Without people to support me in my business and in my life in general I know I’d be way more anxious, and I would probably revert back to my conditioned responses to stress and anxiety which is to be a work-a-holic, and hide from my actual feelings to find value in what I produce. But when I put relationships as my priority, my focus changes and I’m able to lean on my friends in times when I need advice or a listening ear.
Now, I’m an introvert. I know I put myself out there, have this podcast, host events, but deep down I’m an introvert and at the end of the day I need to zone out scrolling tiktok, or watching a show.
Even when I work as a wedding photographer, or end a session for a client, I usually drive home in silence. I’m rocking it with the music up on the way there, but after a whole wedding day, or even just a few hours or 30 minutes with a client, I need that silence to regroup before going home. So I know if being intentional about finding community seems overwhelming. It took me some time to get into a good rhythm of attending events and building relationships. Social media has really helped because now you can build relationships online before getting to those in person hangouts. Know that whenever I host a meetup, or an event, that you’ll be welcomed, and we can have real conversations about life and the struggles and joys of being Latina in the US without judgement.
Once I started sharing my story, and building this other business where I’m either guiding people to Mexico, facilitating a podcast conversation, to now delivering keynotes, or even hosting events; I knew that I would be stronger and could cultivate a stronger community with the energy of others. My business coach Ashely, from episode 38 has really stretched me in reaching out to people to see how we can work together, and amplify each others voices.
She is the one who connected me to Sandy from Beauty Queens. And when we first met she hyped me up in my ideas and my work like no other.
And she connected me to other amazing women Daisy from Hablando Claro Podcast, and Izzy from NeuroYoga Institute. And just like that my friendships expanded and my energy and excitement for the work we’re doing skyrocketed.
And that’s who we are, we are connectors, I want to expand our community, connect to more people so we can lift each other up and in the process create a strong future and foundation for the next generation.
This is needed…in the year 2022, after years of being quiet, of just “dealing with it, it’s time to deconstruct what we’ve been conditioned to believe about ourselves, and come up with the tools needed to lead in our own lives whether it’s leading ourselves into healing, healing our children, leading as an educator, or leading in your family. We’re here in 2022 and sadly racism is still so very much present…and it’s time to address and stop all the micro-aggressions thrown at us.
At some point we’re all going to have to make a decision. You’ll have to decide whether you want to do the work to step into who you are by leaning into your culture in order to preserve your own history, or ignore it, or hide it and keep on living in the world you’ve assimilated to. I didn’t want to just laugh at the jokes anymore. For me I didn’t want to have to go to work and smile and nod when my culture was appropriated or chuckle and brush off the racist, sexist comments anymore.
So that meant letting go of what the photography company that I had built which I mentioned in the previous episodes.
Now I’m not saying to quit your job, or start a business. For me, I knew that what I had already built didn’t serve my whole being, that it actually went against the cultural legacy I wanted to leave behind.
Cultural legacies are powerful. They have deep roots that transcend and persist, generation after generation. Your cultural legacy is already there, it’s up to you to tap into it and continue it in your family.
So think about your cultural legacy. Think about your parent’s cultural legacy? Or your families cultural legacy. What do you want your cultural legacy to be?
Now, are there things that you LOVE about your cultura? Cooking? Art? Colors? Decor? Clothes? Traveling there?
Hold space for those things. Feel the joy you feel when you think about your favorite meal. Or the peace you have thinking about certain traditions…maybe like limpiando la casa on Saturdays…or hosting Domingo comida. Lean into those a little more and make room for how you want to invite those or prioritize that in your own life.
Are there things that maybe you’d like to leave behind and not take with you as you move forward? Toxic parenting? Negative self image? Guilt and shame? Normalized Machismo?
Hold space for those. Be intentional about thinking about where you want to shift and adjust for your own life.
And start saying goodbye. Think about what you’re going to replace them with. I started with toxic parenting or “chancla culture” When I shared my story about parenting in episode 52 I mentioned that I had to have some hard conversations with my parents and family, but I also started seeking the resources to support my decision. I started following IG accounts that started shifting the narrative for me. I mentioned I was a yeller…and when I first heard of gentle parenting I was like what on earth…no matches….that’s not going to work. Until I tried it and it was so eye opening. And I started believing that I could change. And That I could in fact have a healthy relationship with my kids.
And then what was amazing is I started connecting with other moms who were doing the same thing! I had examples right in front of me and we were all examples for each other and I was like ok, I for sure can do this…create a completely different environment from my childhood, one that I longed for…even though I didn’t know it then.
When I think about parenting and my kid’s future,
I always think back to Mari from Latinxmarketing on episode 47 when she shared how amazingly supportive her family was in her choosing this career path. It’s inspiring to see the outcome of being able to shift your mentality or just being able to let go of conditioned ways of thinking. After her interview, I was like, yes…this is how safe and supported I want my kids to feel so they can have the room and space to figure out what they want for their lives after college.
And that is the goal.
To break through the assimilation. To break through your past experiences, and rewrite the narrative so you can create a legacy for your children that elevates your culture, now, and for the future.
This is the last episode of this mini season, but that doesn’t mean that the conversation ends. This year I’ll be doing more in person events and we will have more opportunities to do this work together.
I’m always up for continuing the conversations so subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss when an episode goes live. I also encourage you to share with others because the more people we have talking about our stories as Latines living in the US, the easier it will be to make a collective change for a better future.
Season 6 will be coming out this fall, so after you listen to an episode feel free to take a screenshot to post on IG and tag @elevatinglacultura or send me a DM. You can also comment on our YouTube video if you’re watching online. I always like to hear from people and how they resonate with the stories I share. SO leave a review on apple podcasts so we can get more ears listening to these stories and we can continue elevating la cultura.
Alright, enjoy the rest of the day/afternoon/evening whenever you’re listening, y nos vemos pronto. Adios!
